oh sweet seventeen... feels like i'm being punished... I don't want this so much. I hardly get to sleep.
No need ya calls and concerns. No need a shoulder for comfort. There's no need any consolations from anyone.
It's like I don't have a choice. Haih... What a life...
I'm pushed to the edge. To a point where I no longer feel scared...
No emotions at all. I'm numb. I don't feel pain. I feel...nothing.
Nothing much to thank what others have done.
And I have not a single appreciation to show, simply because...
I don't get to see the GREAT impact of the everything they had supported me on making such decisions.
When people telling me.. Oh how well after that... telling me they see a better/clearer picture... *snoozed*
Wished I saw it too. But I really don't. Sorry for disagreeing. haha. Maybe later I'll see it and apologies to you again for disagreeing. I really respect what you have to say.
On the outside, I may look so okay with anything or everything.
Oh yes, I am truly like that. But I was wondering, does anyone care sometimes... what It'll make me feel.
Oh yes, I do it with a smile, covering up every heartache of mine. Sometimes, being my best really breaks my own heart but being at my worse breaks others. Holding on to the word of God. Put your priority as others first. Arghh!... failed...
It says that, it's better to have your own heart broken than to have no heart at all. Seeing others disappointments, disagreements and disapprovals without doing anything about it... I would be known as a person who doesn't have a heart at all... I must have a heart... but it cost so much, I'm trying to live with this here. So fed up. So tempted to be rebellious. Being in this kind of condition, how would I be able to care. I'm so sarcastic. I'm living my days like a hypocrite. Wearing only a mask. Haih...
Who doesn't want to be good? If it was so easy... err... it was never is... So, have to put in more effort in it.
Memorizing God's word is always a big big help! Its makes me think what God would have to say or how He would have reacted. That made me feel so proud to have known Him. =D To be able to serve in His temple even though i'm so evil, He was still faithful to me and welcomes me in.
Look here and there. Nobody is around. But I'm glad that ,dear Lord, has always been here by my side cheering me on and He's really a great listener. He never gets bored of hearing me complaint..lalalala... hah!
Love you , Jesus.
There must be tonnes of lovely encouragements and positive stuff to post about life. But thats it. I would be famous for being a liar to write only the ups in life. Just sharing my thoughts here.
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